Homer to the Max Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Pete Michels
==============================================================================
Production code: AABF09 Original Airdate on FOX: 7-Feb-99
Capsule revision B (10-May-99)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
(United States) Having the same name as a bumbling TV character prompts a
name change for Homer, whose impressive new moniker puts him on
Springfield's "A" list. Ed Begley, Jr. has a cameo. {bjr}
(Canada) Homer is the laughing stock of Springfield when a TV character
bears both his name and d'oh-pey personality. {hl}
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR / ABOUT MY SCIATICA
Couch: Marge brings a laundry basket to the living room, where a
clothesline is strung in front of the couch. She removes
sheets from the basket, snaps them, and hangs them on the
line, and we can see that the "sheets" really are Homer, Lisa,
Bart, and Maggie.
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... the Springfield Shopper headline reading "IT'S WAR!", along with a
picture of a nuclear explosion?
Cammie Brewer:
... Marge's fingers seemed a little shorter? (maybe it's just my
imagination)
... Lenny had a party at his house? (remember "Realty Bites"?)
Ben Collins:
... Homer calls Maggie "the baby"?
... Marge doesn't like having her breasts grabbed, even by Homer?
Don Del Grande:
... the sign behind the judge says "Springfield Municiple Court" - and
right when the judge tells Homer he's using the one name Homer spelled
right?
... in Springfield, you can (apparently) change your name right away? (In
California, it takes at least four weeks)
... when the trees knocked each other over, they managed to change
directions?
Yuri Dieujuste:
... SNPP affects Albany's power supply?
... the attic has an unusually high ceiling for that type of house?
... OFF goes to the mall to go to the pharmacy?
Jordan Eisenberg:
... Homer looks like Dilbert with his tie thrown over his shoulder?
... we've had, quite possibly, the first nearly indisputable a.t.s.
reference ever with CBG's "Worst Reading Ever?"
... that cactus in the board room was there from the start?
... "Costington's" no longer has the caption under their sign?
Todd Emerson:
... Clinton doing the lower-lip-bite thing while talking to Marge?
Joe Green:
... Carl's voice didn't sound right?
Darrel Jones:
... this is the first Season Ten episode to reuse a Season Ten couch gag?
... Homer carries a "Mid-Season" pennant? [{je} asks, "where did Homer
find a flag with the word "mid-season" printed on it? (Maybe he wrote
over his "football" flag from last week.)"]
... the stupid, sidekick "Homer Simpson" also has the same body build as
Chief Wiggum?
... Marge has a tattoo somewhere on her privates? (What a fox... ;)
... Homer's (er, Max's) "monogrammed" shirt actually says "Max Power"?
... the butler at the party chains himself to a tree?
Joe Klemm:
... Real Homer's scarf still has a price tag on it?
Haynes Lee:
... Yuppies smoking cigars?
... Quebec has the bomb?!
Patrick McGovern:
... Bill Clinton showed up in Springfield's cultural elite?
... Burns instantly remembered Homer as "Max Power", whereas he hasn't
remembered him as "Homer Simpson" before?
Travis D. McLemore, Jr.:
... Springfield Shopper headline: "It's War!"?
... Larry Davis and his band at the party?
... Homer/Max eating a fish like a watermelon?
... hippie-strength mace?
Paul Melnyk:
... Ned's different voice was a joke, but many of Hank Azaria's characters
[also] sounded different?
... when they showed the people at the mall, couples seemed to be apart?
(Jasper in between Mrs. + Dr. Hibbert, Nelson between Seymour and his
mother?)
Mark A. Richey:
... Marge humming in the couch gag?
... Admiral Baby has a buck tooth?
... Homer wasn't shaven in the attic?
... Homer is wearing his monogrammed shirt from the kitchen scene onward?
... the eagle and dolphin topiary?
... the leaves trailing behind Ed Begley Jr.'s go-cart
Tom Rinschler:
... Homer/Max wears one of his embroidered shirts during the Thai food
scene?
Benjamin Robinson:
... the title of this episode is literally true, in that Homer becomes Max?
Gary Wilson:
... Homer has apparently taken back his job at the plant? This is the
first time we have seen him working there this season, as he quit in
the series premiere.
... Grampa Simpsons story sounds like he might have been remembering the
plot for the movie Gladys The Groovy Mule starring Troy McClure? (It's
a stretch -- a big one, but think about it. He has seen "a lot of
movies" and a story about a Mule saving spring break?)
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Max Power, Barney, Krusty, Groundskeeper Willie, Abe)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Admiral Baby)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Chief on "Police Cops", Chief Wiggum, Carl, Moe, Comic Book
Guy, Prof. Frink, Producer #4, Producer #5 [?])
- Harry Shearer (Fox announcer, Officer #1, Officer #2, Criminal #1,
Criminal #2, Lance Kaufman, "Homer Simpson", Bank Owner, Lenny, Fan
#2, Producer #1, Producer #3, Judge Snyder, Mr. Burns, Trent Steele,
Man at party, Lorne Michaels, Lou, Eddie)
- Special Guest Voice
- Ed Begley, Jr. (Himself)
- Also Starring
- Tress MacNeille (Agnes Skinner, Producer #2)
- Maggie Roswell (Fan #1, Employee, Guest)
- Karl Wiedergott (Archie, "Ned Flanders", Valet {je}, President Clinton)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ "Grody to the max!" {jg2}
- episode title is a pun on this Valley Girl expression
- "Day of the Locust" {al}
- character coincidentally named "Homer Simpson," like in this episode
+ Fox Television promotions {gw}
- the countdown to mid-season makes fun of the way Fox over-hypes
everything, especially the ridiculous and pointless countdowns they
have
+ Fox's Disaster and "World's Funniest" shows
+ America's Funniest Home Videos
- slagged once again in "World's Funniest Tornados" ({bjr} asserts,
"This is becoming comedy's answer to shooting fish in a barrel.")
+ All In the Family
- updated to "All In the Family 1999" [See "Comments" section for more]
~ "1,000 Men and a baby"
- the whole "baby and Navy" skit on the TV previews
- "Family Guy"
- "The Laughter Family" similar
+ "Miami Vice"
- "Homer Simpson" and Lance Kaufman look like Sony Crockett and Ricardo
Tubbs {hl}
- clothes and car similar, too {tdm}
+ Franco-American's "Spaghetti-O's"
- new "Homer's" catchphrase
- "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." {jg2}
- "Simp-SON!" sounds like "Pyle!"
- "The Jetsons" {dj}
- "Simp-SON!" sounds like "Jet-SON!"
+ "Psycho" {al}
- image of Homer in the rocking chair at the window from this movie
+ Columbia Pictures {pm}
- one of the hedges at the mansion shows a horse with wings similar to
the one in this company's production logo
+ "Titanic" {tr}
+ "Frasier" {tr}
- the TV executives wanted a show that was "Titanic" meets "Frasier"
(psychologist analyzing people on sinking ships?)
+ "Max Headroom" {jj}
- character's name (Max Power, here) taken from a sign that meant
something else
~ "Austin Powers" {nd}
- Homer's new name might have been inspired by the title of this movie
(which was also the name of the main character).
- Covington's department store
- Costington's a spoof
+ "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey
- Homer sings the Max Power theme to the tune of "Goldfinger"
- Mexican jumping beans {hl}
- the Mexican Fighting Tree sounds similar
+ Pro-life protesters {bjr}
- "pro-leaf" sounds similar
+ Mace attack at Pacific Lumber Company
- police try to dissuade protesters the way Chief Wiggum does [See
"Comments" section for more]
- "Lethal Weapon" {al}
- the police car two days away from retirement, like Daniel Glover's
character in this movie
~ The Tracey Ullman Show (ddg}
- (maybe) Chesty LaRue may have been a character in one of that show's
sketches
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Who Homer Looks/Sounds Like {hl}
- [3F06] Dan Aykroyd
- [3F10] Pillsbury Doughboy
- [4F12] Poochie
- [4F18] Mr. Sparkle
- Cactuses on The Simpsons {je}
- [8F01] Lisa has a potted cactus on her bookshelf
- [8F11] Bart gets a cactus for his birthday
- [9F22] OFF drive through a cactus patch, to Sideshow Bob's dismay
- [4F03] Homer thinks Marge is a cactus
- [4F09] Milhouse almost walks blindfolded into a cactus
- [4F11] John brings OFF cactus candy
- [AABF04] "Bloodbath Gulch" brochure features a cactus
- [7G08] Tattoo removal {hl}
- [7G12], [2F06], [AABF02] That cartoony drooping noise is heard {je}
- [7F05], [3F18] Capitol City Mascot appears {pm}
- [7F09] A TV show, against Marge's (cf. Homer's) will, writes a joke at that
person's expense {dj}
- [7F10], [8F19], [1F07] Homer is tempted by another woman {je}
- [7F11], [3F07], [5F13] Strange answering machine tapes {je}
- [8F03], [2F06] Jokes on TV made at expense of family member {je}
- [8F09] Homer's interpretation of "House of Pancakes" is like his
interpretation of the "Land of Chocolate" {je}
- [9F01] Homer and Lorne Michaels {ol}
- [9F03] A Simpson swings from the ceiling fan {je}
- [9F06], [1F03] Ruth Powers appears {jg2}
- [9F22] Name changes in the Simpsons family {ol}
- [1F10] A joke about something "dying" "days before retirement" is used {dj}
- [2F09] Another "Homer" {je}
- [2F13] A Simpson causes an ecological disaster {jg2}
- [3F09] Disco Stu doesn't advertise {hl}
- [3F17] The map of nuclear power plants at SNPP is seen {dj}
- [3G02] "All in the Family" parodied {gw}
- [4F02] "George Steponopalos" (sp) gives advice to Clinton {dj}
- [4F03] Miscellaneous, Etc. store seen {bjr}
- [4F12] "Worst episode ever" said (cf. "Worst reading ever") {pm}
- [4F22] Corked gator {hl}
- [5F06] Lenny living in seemingly disadvantaged conditions {ol}
- [5F09] Costington's appears {pm}
- [5F18] Police dog traumatized a day away from retirement (again, compare
with car wrecked two days before retirement) {pm}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Banner at Moe's bar {bjr}
TV DRINKS
H O M E R S I M P S O N
SENSATION HERE
- People at the mall {pm}
- Otto, Dr. Hibbert, Jasper, Ms. Hibbert, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Principal
Skinner, Nelson, Mother Skinner, Krusty, Apu, CBG, Chief Wiggum, Mrs.
Wiggum, Ralph, Willie, Janey, Janey's Mom, Hans Moleman, Prof. Frink, Mr.
Van Houten, Ruth Powers {mar}
- Sign outside the "Police Cops" studio {bjr}
BY THE
NUMBERS
PRODUCTIONS
(Often, an unoriginal TV show or movie is said to be done
"by the numbers.")
- Things at the studio entrance {pm}
- Sign saying "By The Numbers Productions", Studio building labeled with
the # 7, along with "Police Cops", with life-size stand-up posters of
Lance aiming gun, with 'stupid Homer' in a wacky pose with the gun.
- People in the courtroom {pm}
- Hans, Principal Skinner, Mother Skinner, Otto, Prof. Frink, Snake, Dr.
Nick, Apu, Herman {mar}, Sanjay
- Animal Hedges at Mansion {pm}
- Eagle, Dolphin, Bear, Horse with Wings
- Bottle of mace {bjr}
MACE
* *
Hippie
Strength
- Bus banner {pm}
[Oak Leaf] We're Pro-Leaf! [Oak Leaf]
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
= When Homer makes his comment about animated shows, his body shakes like
he's laughing long before you can hear him laugh. {ddg}
* Regular-length episode pilots aren't usually [but not always -- Ed.] shown,
especially if some of the characters have changed (mainly because they
don't want to confuse the viewers). {ddg}
* On the TV show, a criminal keels over after "Homer Simpson" throws a bullet
into the right side of his torso. But the heart (presumably where it
landed) is on the left. {dj}
* There's nothing new about changing a character's personality if it doesn't
do very well; for example. "The Redd Foxx Show" changed Foxx from a
"lovable father figure" to "his old Fred Sanford persona". {ddg}
= Ruth Powers is seen in the background at the mall while simultaneously
crowding around Homer. {mar}
* Why would Moe have his ceiling fan on in the winter? [Patrick M. Geahan
has an explanation. See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {je}
- We see Homer outside building #7, about to enter it, with a big "Police
Cops" display out front. Then, while Homer's in the conference room, we
building #7 through the window behind him.
= Homer's reading glasses disappear between shots. {bc}
* Judge Snyder says he'll give Homer the only name that he spelled correctly.
Since Homer made up those names, shouldn't he be able to make up the
spellings, too? {nd}
* Marge *would not*, and probably doesn't have a tattoo on a private place.
{ol}
- The sun in the forest picture in the living room disappears briefly? {cb}
+ When they show the Costington's Logo, they don't have the memorable "Over a
century without a slogan" sign. {pm}
- In one shot, the Dolphin hedge at front of mansion disappears. {pm}
* Quebec is still a province of Canada [as of April 1999, anyway], therefore
it should be "Canada's got the bomb". [Patrick Geahan counters, "True, but
Quebec has been increasingly separitistic over the last several years. I
have heard Canadian newscasters refer to Quebec as practically a separate
country for a long time now."] {yd}
= During the "chained-to-the-tree" scene, Homer's arms go in front of and
behind the chain like mad. {cb}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Rich Bunnell: Not a -bad- episode, but as Simpsons episodes go, this was
slightly average--it contained a slew of good jokes (such as Homer
shrugging off Lorne Michaels and Homer's list of names in court) but when
it comes down to it, it was just another "Homer has a dumb plan" episode.
Also, what happened to Police Cops after the 2nd act? And the "Hootie"
joke at the end was disgusting and un-Simpsons like. Still, as I said, for
each bad point there's a good point (the absurd idea of a TV show with a
baby commanding a ship), so this episode gets away with a (B)
Ben Collins: There's little to say about this episode. The idea is
interesting, and I like some of the meta-humor, but it's generally a ho-hum
affair. The Clinton gag isn't anything I haven't seen in Jay Leno's
monologue. An average effort for this season. (C)
Nathan DeHoff: "Homer to the Max" was the latest in a series of Simpsons
episodes that are amusing in spots, but don't really go anywhere. On the
plus side, the television spoofs were done pretty well. Homer's name
change opening doors (including Burns remembering his name) was also
somewhat clever (although similar to his new hair opening doors in "Simpson
and Delilah"). The main problem seemed to be that there wasn't much of a
plot, and what we did get was weak. The majority of the show was just
people hassling Homer, with no real developments until the name change.
After that, it was okay for a while, but the whole tree-hugging scene was
pretty stupid, and a little too close to the ending of the recent "D'oh-in'
in the Wind." (How many hippie jokes does one season need?) (C-)
Don Del Grande: Pretty good for an episode with a "separated subplot"
(assuming you consider the "Homer Simpson" bit a subplot to the "Max
Powers" bit), although I may be giving Swartzwelder the benefit of the
doubt a little here (B+)
Yuri Dieujuste: Another mediocre episode from Season 10 that would never make
it through Season 6. The storyline was screwed up completely and there was
a lack of funny jokes. Also there was no theme that imitated our life. My
opinion is that the episode deserves a below average grade. (D+)
Jordan Eisenberg: Some funny stuff in there, like the mid-season replacement
bits and Mr. Burns. And John Swartzwelder continues to come up with strange
Rube-Goldberg-esque ways of furthering his stories, which I always love.
The plot was a good concept, but what came of it was literally nothing more
than a bunch of stuff that happened, with little conflict or an interesting
story or anything. The title describes basically this whole season, which
is a shame. Hopefully, since none of February's other episodes will
revolve _directly_ around Homer, he'll fade into the background for a
while. (B-)
Alex Foley: A funny, but weird episode. For some reason I felt I was
watching a different show. But it was funny, even though the show took a
dip in the 3rd act. (B-)
Joe Green: A very funny outing, even if it lost steam during the second act
and the climax was a bit contrived. I was surprised to see Ed Begley, Jr.
poking fun not only at himself but at his pet cause. All in all,
Swartzwelder seems to have redeemed himself after the worthless horror that
was "Homer Simpson in Kidney Trouble". (B)
Darrel Jones: An okay episode, I guess. I didn't like Homer protesting the
protestors, and there weren't many truly funny jokes (like the running
cactus gag, the many meta-jokes, and the names Homer wanted to use), but I
liked the premise and it didn't make me want to kill the production staff.
Altogether, I'd give this one a 6/10. (B-)
Joe Klemm: Sadly, this episode, with the exception of the climatic chase
between Homer and the cops, lacks the comedy that is usually found in an
episode that centers around Homer's comical side. The main plot idea of
him getting a new name started too late, and most of the jokes weren't that
funny. (D)
Andrew Levine: It's obvious the writers were trying, in the first act, to
poke fun at our complaints that Homer's character has been drastically
changed for the worse (stupider). A memorable episode in the sense that
Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie was a memorable episode. I thought that there
were funny parts (like the mule that saved spring break). I really did not
like the ending, though. (B)
Patrick McGovern: No, no! That is NOT how one makes a Simpsons ep! Easily
the worst in recent memory. The first act was pretty funny, the 2nd act
was very boring, and the 3rd act was damn unfunny. That "Max Power" stuffs
makes me want to gag. And what was with those Clinton jokes? Or Ed Begley
Jr.? Not funny. (F)
Paul Melnyk: This episode had the rollycoaster feel. It looked stupid with
that Clinton stuff in the previews. The first act was hilarious, it had
pure Simpsons in it. It had some good jokes. The Spaghetti-O's thing was a
riot, so were the TV previews, also the part where Homer's flying on the
fan, with the patron's ducking reactions, and of course, the
noticed-on-second-viewing voice joke. It seemed to get lame over the 2nd
and 3rd acts though, providing some giggles with the episode references.
The Clinton appearance was unfunny. (B-)
Abhi Rey: I was surprised cause I was expecting a lot less, but this episode
was still a little below standard Simpsons. Most of the humor was centered
on meta-humor or network bashing, and I feel that it's starting to get
really old. The first half of the episode was uninteresting and aiming for
a lower grade, but the second half really picked up and contained bold
twists to the storyline. The forest scene was a nice touch as well. There
wasn't much of a resolution to the episode though; just Max Powers changing
back to Homer. Overall, a decent episode. (C+)
Tom Rinschler: This episode was a hilarious satire and deconstruction of bout
OFF and of television in general. I was laughing my head of and enjoying
every minute. Then the last ten minutes or so hit, and this episode sank
like a rock. Rarely have I seen an episode that so completely and suddenly
shifted from "good" to "bad" (the sharp cut off point was between the Burns
and the monogram scenes). The best thing I can say about the last act or
so that it was a bit better than "The Principal and the Pauper" (mainly
because it was shorter). I was going to give this episode an A during the
first part, but that rapidly disappeared as the third act progressed. (C+)
Jason Rosenbaum: Pure crap. If there is a season next year, I will not watch
it. The writing was pathetic, the jokes were all repeated, and the Clinton
joke was simply terrible. Please, please, please, please end the Simpsons
now. (D-)
Gary Wilson: What started out as a great parody of TV and some great self ref
jokes turned in to a stupid plot about saving trees with a bunch of
celebrities. Where the hell did that come from? The clever plot just blew
away in the wind. I was hoping this would be the next I&S&P, a complete
parallel to the show itself. Then it had to get weird. Really weird. The
plot just left me asking 'why?' And another appearance of Clinton? This
is getting tiresome. Last weeks was within good fun, this weeks was just
stupid. And did anyone notice the abundance of dirty jokes? Did Homer
really say what I thought he did (you know what I'm talking about if he
did.) Oh well. For the first half A, for the second D. What does that
make? (C)
Yours Truly: I'm a sucker for a good meta-joke, and this episode had lots of
them. It also had quite of few jokes of the regular kind, making it more
than just a one-trick pony. The last act wandered off-topic; I think the
story would have been stronger (and the ending less rushed) if they had
stayed on one point. In spite of this structure problem, this was still a
good show. (A-)
AVERAGE GRADE: C (2.12) Std Dev.: 0.9467 (29 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> I won't tell them about my what?
Ellen Cohen explains Bart's blackboard punishment: Sciatica is a form of
lower back injury. Stereotypically you hear elderly people complaining
about their sciatica, because it's a fairly common injury. You also hear
about it a lot at the chiropractor's office (my chiropractor had a sciatica
pamphlet that showed a middle-aged man holding his lower back as he
struggled to get out of an easy chair).
Merriam-Webster's definition of "sciatica":
sci*at*i*ca (noun)
[Middle English, from Medieval Latin, from Late Latin, feminine of
sciaticus]
First appeared 14th Century
: pain along the course of a sciatic nerve esp. in the back of the thigh;
broadly : pain in the lower back, buttocks, hips, or adjacent parts
>> Behind the TV scenes
- Mid-season excitement
Joe Klemm explains the mid-season phenomenon: Referred to in the TV business
as the Second Season, the mid-season in the television season usually airs
new shows that replace the season starter shows that flop and are cancelled
after a few weeks. Some of the best shows to air on TV actually started in
the middle of the season. Among those shows, along with the Simpsons,
include America's Funniest Home Videos and All In the Family, which were
both spoofed at the beginning.
- Pilots
Joe Klemm, again: Sometimes, a television show's pilot is different than the
other episodes that air after that. Among the changes that are usually
made after a pilot includes cast changes and introduction to other regular
characters. Meanwhile other pilots, like I Love Lucy and the Brady Bunch,
are filmed way before the show is picked up, thus the characters may look
younger than they first appeared.
>> "All in the Family, 1999"
Mark Aaron Richey: another midseason replacement (this one in 1971), the
original AITF was a controversial, but very popular sitcom about a bigoted
man and his conflicts with his liberal son-in-law. Very controversial for
the time (hell, it would be even more controversial if it was premiering
now), it nevertheless was the highest rated series for five straight years.
The "revival" looks to be a very watered down version with Carroll
O'Connor's Archie Bunker reduced to a lovable figure (as far as I know,
O'Connor has no money problems).
>> Police Car Watch
Benjamin Robinson: Lance and "Homer" pull up to the crime scene in something
that looks like a Corvette. The roofline looked a little screwy, although
that could just be the angle from which we saw the car.
John M. Daniel suggests it may have been a different car: I thought it was
supposed to be a Ferrari Daytona... another reference to Miami Vice, where
Sonny Crockett drove a Daytona (actually for filming the show they used a
slightly doctored Vette) until he got a late-model Testarossa.
Benjamin Robinson responds: I think the headlight/turn signal shape was wrong
for a Daytona. The dash seemed Daytona-like in a vague sort of way. By the
way, wasn't Crockett's Daytona a Spyder? The "Police Cops" car was a
hardtop.
>> And you thought it was just for ambience
Patrick M. Geahan explains why Moe's ceiling fan might be turning in winter:
This isn't horribly uncommon for two reasons. First, in a bar, or any
other crowded place, it probably gets damn hot at times. Second, on most
ceiling fans you can change the direction of the fan. This is supposed to
keep the hot air, which would rise, circulating through the room.
>> Max Speed
If you need proof that "Simpsons" fans scrutinize the show closely, then
here's some excellent evidence from "jibberuski@aol.com": When Homer walks
into the cactus the first time, the frame rate is 30 frames per second.
This was the first time I have seen this on The Simpsons. The usual rate
is 24 or 12.
A TV's speed is 30 frames per second, so it can't go faster than that. TV
shows generally use 24 frames per second since that is what movie cameras
use. When this is done, every fourth frame is repeated. You can tell if
this is done by watching it in slow motion.
Todd Emerson replies: Well, as Max himself said, "There are three ways of
doing things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!" (Which
is the wrong way, but faster!)
>> Mace gets in my eyes
Alan Hamilton explains the mace-swabbing reference: The pepper spray bit is a
clear reference to an incident that happened in 1997. Environmental
protestors went to the office of then-Congressman Frank Riggs (R-
California 1) to protest the congressman's pro-logging position. [{ah}
says another group was chained up at the offices of Pacific Lumber
Company.] When the protestors refused to leave, Riggs' security officers
applied liquid pepper spray on their eyes. The protestors sued, insisting
it was "cruel and unusual punishment". Riggs stood firmly by his officers,
who won a victory in the California State Supreme Court. The whole story
got national attention, and public response to the security men's actions
(including in Riggs' district, which runs along California's north coast)
was mixed.
>> Meta-reference corner
It's a festival of meta-references!
The "second season", the time when the networks launch the shows to replace
the shows they launch in September. Now stretching from October to April,
most replacement series get dumped by May (anyone remember last spring's
"The Closer"? How about "House Rules"?). However, a surpassing number of
replacements catch on. Among the replacements currently on the air are
"The Practice", "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Just Shoot Me", "NewsRadio",
"3rd Rock From the Sun", "Dawson's Creek", "Homicide: Life on the Street",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", "King of the Hill", and yes, OFF. {mar} [{ol}
adds, "The Tracey Ullman Show, which ultimately launched Simpsons in the
first place, was also a mid-season series on a mid-season network.]
Homer says networks like animation because they don't have to pay the
actors, referring to pay dispute the network and the actors had last
summer. {bjr}
Just then, Ned walks by mentions that voice actors can be replaced without
anyone noticing. (Evidently he didn't catch on to the fact that his own
voice had completely changed.) During the pay dispute Fox threatened to
hire replacement actors. This strategy collapsed when the voice actor
community, in a remarkable show of solidarity, told Fox to go jump in a
lake. {bjr} [{mar} notes the actors secured big raises, to boot. Also,
see "[?]"]
Lenny asks Homer to "act stupid, like you do on TV." That one shouldn't be
too hard to get. {bjr}
A character named "Homer Simpson" becomes dumber as the series runs longer.
That one shouldn't be too hard to get, either. {bjr}
Lisa consoles Homer by saying producers often change some characters and
push others to the background. As though to emphasize her point, Mr. Largo
and the Capital City goofball stroll by the kitchen window. (Don't the
Simpsons mind people trespassing on their property?) {bjr} [{nd} notes,
"The Goofball was somewhat of an odd choice for this gag, since he was
never really a major character."]
On "Police Cops," Homer Simpson is the comic relief, just as on another
show I'm familiar with. {bjr}
Homer tells the mall crowd that they've confused him with a "fictional
character on TV." {bjr}
Wiggum identifies Homer as "the stupid cop from TV." You ought to know,
Chief. {bjr}
The Comic Book Guy wants an audio recording of Homer saying his catch-
phrase. In real life, Dan Castellaneta and Yeardley Smith have both done
answering-machine recordings. (Mr. Castellaneta's wound up on the radio,
Ms. Smith's are just for her friends.) This could also be a comment on how
the Internet fans want audio files of just about everyone on the show.
{bjr}
Comic Book Guy deems Homer's reading as the "worst ever," although at least
this time he may be right. {bjr}
Krusty tells Homer, "Once they get a taste of you, they want more." A
couple years back, people were clamoring for more of "our" Homer. (Be
careful of what you ask for...) {bjr}
Marge tells her husband, "Your growing insanity is starting to worry me,"
which echoes this newsgroups concern about Homer's increasingly loutish
behavior. (Ironically, in this show Homer acted more like his usual self.)
{bjr}
>> Maybe they =can= replace the actors, after all
Nicol�s Di Candia explains why foreign-language viewers get to the tell the
diddely-ifference whether they want to or not: The English version of "The
Simpsons" does not, fortunately, suffer that common practice in cartoons.
But foreign versions do. The Spanish version that I believe is dubbed in
Mexico gets new voices for almost all the minor characters in each episode.
They even changed Bart's voice beginning with "Bart Carny". Plus, the
dubbing actors do not "act" the lines, they just read them (I am beginning
to think that that's why I disliked some episodes last season). There are
no two episodes, for instance, in which Lionel Hutz has the same voice.
And, intrestingly, Poochie's voice in 4F12 was (obviously) Homer's, but in
AABF01 it was COMPLETELY different!
Another thing that keeps happening is that the names of the characters vary
(Dr. Nick is now called Dr. Sables).
>> What's in a name?
A number of brand-name celebrities were seen or mentioned on tonight's show.
Here's some quick background
Anthony Michael Hall: Former member of the Brat Pack who briefly rose to
stardom in the mid 80's thanks to roles in "National Lampoon's Vacation",
"The Breakfast Club", "Sixteen Candles", and "Weird Science".
Unfortunately, his career soon nose-dived (starring in drek like "Johnny Be
Good" didn't help), and his most recent appearances have been in such films
as "The Grave", "Exit in Red", and "Trojan War" (yes, I've never heard of
them either). {mar}
A.M. Hall was also a cast member on Saturday Night Live during the 1985-86
season when Lorne Michaels returned as executive producer of the show.
Also on the writing staff of SNL that season - AABFO9 writer John
Swartzwelder. (BTW, Swartzwelder's fellow Simpsons writer George Meyer was
also an SNL writer that season) Given the jokes made at the expense of
Hall and Michaels in this episode, one guesses that they may not have been
Swartzwelder's favorite co-workers. In any event, this bit of trivia can
be added to the vast number of in-jokes that made this episode enjoyable.
{tc}
Marlon Brando: Heavyweight (in every sense of the term) actor. He was the
head honcho of a bizarre compound in "Apocalypse Now," and not the comic
relief, unless you have a really dark sense of humor. {bjr}
I'm not sure what movie Marge was watching, but Brando's appearance in this
deeply dark 1979 film from Francis Ford Coppela was most certainly not
comic relief. Brando played Colonel Kurtz, the highly decorated, and
highly insane, military leader who had become the ruthless ruler of a group
of Vietnam natives. His scenes were among the darkest in the film (maybe
she confused Brando with Dennis Hopper, who played a drugged-out
photojournalist who stayed at the compound. He provided the few light
moments during the last twenty minutes of the film). {mar}
Annie Potts: Comic actress who has been on a number of cancelled shows,
including "Love & War" and "Dangerous Minds." She looks a little like the
lady smoking a cigar at the garden party, although that isn't her. {bjr}
Potts is the former star of "Designing Women" who, since the end of that
series, has starred in several disappointing shows, "Over the Top",
"Dangerous Minds", and currently, Lifetime's "Any Day Now". {mar}
Jeremy Piven: Known for the recently-cancelled "Ellen," where he was
Ellen's cousin, and the soon-to-be cancelled "Cupid" (ABC's giving it the
ax right before Valentine's Day). [{al} points out he was also in "Grosse
Pointe Blank" -- Ed.] {bjr}
Jeremy Piven is one of the crew members who unexpectedly had to jump ship
from a TV series, struggling to find a lifeboat elsewhere on primetime. He
played Ellen's cousin Spence on ABC's "Ellen" and joined the show around
1995. Now he has a new show on ABC that was actually picked up for
midseason called "Cupid." Being the forgettable cog of an actor he is,
it's no surprise Homer nor the executives would know who he is. {ol}
Piven has been in a lot of roles on both TV ("The Larry Sanders Show",
"Ellen", "Cupid") and the movies ("Grosse Pointe Blank", "Very Bad
Things"), and has a very recognizable face, but his name is not as well
known (Homer would probably know him if he saw him). {mar}
Woody Harrelson: Harrelson is a committed environmentalist, as well as
committed to the legalization of industrial hemp (the plant that marijuana
is derived from), and is often seen in public wearing clothing made from
hemp. {mar} [{bjr} adds, "The pro-hemp forces claim the fiber can be used
for practical things, like clothing in addition to its, ahem, recreational
value."]
Slight correction: although industrial hemp and the version grown for
marijuana are technically the same species (Cannabis sativa), industrial
hemp cannot be used to make the drug. Similarly, although the Chihuahua
and the Rottweiler are very different in appearance, temperament, and
almost everything else, they are both the same species, Canis familiaris.
{bc}
Ed Begley, Jr.: The only famous person whose voice appears in this
episode, Mr. Begley is noted for his work on "St. Elsewhere," and with the
environment. He strongly supports solar power research, hence his little
demonstration with the pinwheel. {bjr} [{mar} adds, "He starred in 'St.
Elsewhere' during the 80's, and even was briefly a leading man in the
movies. Lately, however, he has been content to guest star on TV shows,
and make straight-to-video films."]
Ellen Cohen adds, I saw something about him on cable. He drives an
electric car, has a solar-powered house, and recycles everything into a
compost heap or recycling center except used tissues! :� Dennis Miller
once commented in a stand-up act, "I'm happier than Ed Begley Jr. driving
to the recycling center in an electric car with a bag full of empties!" Or
something to that effect. {bjr}
President Bill Clinton: Okay, you don't really need me to tell you who he
is. I just thought it was funny that the writers featured him prominently
in this episode, while last week [for "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (AABF08)"]
they weren't certain he'd still be in the White House. Good thing the GOP
impeachment trial bogged down, or the writers would be up @#*$! Creek
without a paddle. {bjr}
Lorne Michaels: Producer of "Saturday Night Live," a show that isn't as
hip as it was eight years ago. If Mr. Michaels wanted to impress his
fellow partygoers, he might have mentioned his involvement with "Late Night
with Conan O'Brien." {bjr}
George Stephanapolous [sic]: He isn't mentioned by name, but Clinton's
aide looks like him. He was Clinton's press secretary, but quit several
years ago. I guess the animators don't know what his replacement looks
like. {bjr}
>> Contribution for a rained-out ballgame
Andrew Gill has an interesting story: Well, seeing as I don't have much more
STUFF for this episode, I might as well add something tangentially related
<http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/koch_is_it.html>
A man named Fred Koch changed his name a few years ago, to reflect the
correct pronunciation of his name. Unfortunately, Coca-Cola didn't
appreciate the fact that Mr. ``Coke Is It'' was infringing on their
trademark. I'm not sure of how the subsequent court case turned out.
>> Tattoo You
Benjamin Robinson: Marge has a tattoo of Homer's name? It beats me as to
where -- we saw just about everything there was to see of her in "Natural
Born Kisser (5F18)," and I certainly didn't notice any body art. This
might explain why she was so dead set against Bart getting a tattoo,
though.
>> He who steals my purse steals trash, but he who steals my name ...
Ondre Lombard explores Homer's legal options to regain his name: If Homer
wanted to sue for having his name used without his permission, he could
have a lawyer motion to have it taken to trial, depending on if opposing
counsel moves to challenge the claim. In any case, Homer would likely lose
if he didn't have a good lawyer, since no show doesn't include a page with
the copyright credits that explicitly stipulates that All persons and
events depicted are fictional, and any similarities to persons living or
dead is purely coincidental. However, if Homer decided that he had
evidence that the character was indeed based upon him (such as with the
scene of "Homer" pleading for dignity), he would have a case.
>> As though being named "Homer" wasn't difficult enough
Benjamin Robinson: Turnabout is fair play. Homer has the misfortune of
sharing a name with a dumb TV character. Here in the real world, there are
people who can sympathize with his plight, since they are named Marge,
Bart, Lisa, Maggie, and yes, Homer Simpson. "TV Guide" did a story
featuring some of these people in 1991, shortly after the series moved to
Thursday. This universe's Homer is a seventy-something guy (or he was in
1991) who fielded a lot of prank calls asking for the "other" Homer.
Incidentally, he said the number of calls dropped after Fox moved the show
to Thursdays, suggesting the ratings may have taken a hit.
Also at about this time, a man named Bart Simpson ran for office in Texas.
His opponent accused him of capitalizing on his newly famous name, which
was probably a well-founded charge. No matter, as it turned out Bart
Simpson couldn't win an election in this universe, either.
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: Homer Power Ranger
Jordan Eisenberg's Alterna-alterna-title: "'Power' is a Pow-Pow-Powerful
Name"
Don Del Grande: How many Simpsons characters have been voiced by two (or
more) different actors? The ones I can think of are Lurleen Lumpkin, Mrs.
Glick, and Roger Meyers, Jr.
Yuri Dieujuste: George Stephonopolus is a former advisor to President
Clinton. He is now a professor at Columbia University and a political
advisor to ABC News.
Gary Wilson writes about "All In the Family 1999": This version appears to
have been "political corrected" for a modern audience. In the real show,
Archie Bunker was predigest against pretty much everyone slightly different
than him. This type of character probably wouldn't sit easy on Network TV
now a days.
>> And now, for a =really= personal note
Andrew Gill ventures into ... "The Twilight Zone": Does this family sound
familiar? Three kids, the older two separated by 8 years, while the
younger two are separated by 2 years. The younger two are the same gender,
and the older sister (a psychologist) has a middle name of Marie. The
older brother has a middle initial J. That's right, it's my family!
Now, there's one more similarity: my father's name is Max, which is not
short for anything.
Coincidence? I think...so.
["It's like they saw our lives and put it right up on screen!" -- Bart,
8F20]
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {jo}
==============================================================================
% On the Simpsons' TV set, the Fox network broadcasts a countdown,
% starting at 206 seconds. The family has all gathered to watch.
Announcer: The start of television's second most exciting season --
midseason -- is just two hundred exciting seconds away!
Homer: Door?
Marge: Locked!
Homer: Phone?
Lisa: Unplugged!
Homer: Dog? Cat?
Bart: Taped and corked.
Homer: Perfect.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% The first, program, "America's Funniest Tornadoes" shows a shovel-
% carrying farmer get hit in the groin with a stop sign during a tornado,
% for a big sure-fire laugh chuckle.
Announcer: And at nine-thirty, "All in the Family 1999"!
Archie: Aw, jeez, they got me livin' with an African-American, a
Semite-American, and a woman American there, and I'm
glad, I loves youse all! I love everybody! I wish I'd
saved my money from the first show.
-- Maybe then you wouldn't have to do anti-drug P.S.A.s about your
son, "Homer to the Max"
% Homer, holding a pennant that says "Mid-Season", holds up a scorecard
% with two columns -- "Excellent Shows" and "Very Good Shows".
Homer: Oh, I can't wait. Look, Marge, I got a scorecard printed up
at that all-night scorecard place.
Lisa: Isn't mid-season just a dumping ground for second-rate shows
that weren't good enough for the fall schedule?
Homer: You're thinking of all the other years. This year's shows
are classic. There's "The Laughter Family" -- that's
animated. Networks like animation 'cause they don't have to
pay the actors squat!
Ned: [voice slightly off] Plus, they can replace them, and no one
can tell the diddley-ifference!
-- They wish, "Homer to the Max"
% "Admiral Baby" kicks off the night. On the deck of an enormous ship,
% two officers talk with each other.
Officer #1: We're taking the entire sixth fleet to Candy Island?
Officer #2: Those are the Admiral's orders!
[The Admiral is revealed to be a diapered baby in a crib
wearing the appropriate hat and jacket. He loses
balance and falls over to a laugh track and funny
noises, while the Simpsons look on uninterestedly.]
Marge: It's hard to believe someone that young could have risen
to the rank of Admiral.
-- Marge the beetle-browed viewer, "Homer to the Max"
% Homer, much to his amazement (and ours), thinks the show is a bit
% dumb. He looks through the TV Guide and finds "Police Cops," which
% holds some more promise. Homer puts down the TV guide and changes
% channel to a show where some crooks are using a crane to lift an entire
% bank onto a truck.
Criminal #1: Let's get this bank back to our hideout and we'll break
into it later.
[suddenly, a red sports car pulls up.]
Criminal #1: It's the cops!
Criminal #2: Worse. The Police Cops.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% The two detectives in the car pull their guns out and start taking
% criminals out left and right; one of them tosses a crook into three
% others, destroying them all in a large explosion.
Bart: This isn't bad.
Homer: Isn't bad? Tell me one thing mankind has ever done mankind's
ever done that's any better?
Lisa: The Renaissance?
Homer: This is better.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% The Police Cops have two crooks cuffed; they slam their chins against
% the hood of a police car.
Kaufman: Let's book 'em and roll
Simpson: And that's the end of that chapter.
Bank Owner: You men saved my bank! I'd like to donate forty dollars
to charity in your honor. But, uh ... I don't know your
names.
Kaufman: Lance Kaufman.
Simpson: Simpson, Detective Homer Simpson.
[the Simpsons all can't help but be a bit shocked by the
character's name. Homer, however, can barely control
his excitement]
Homer: [long, slow gasp] He's named like my name!!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% On the TV show, two women come to Homer Simpson's side; the Police
% Chief comes to talk to him.
Chief: I don't get it, Homer. You're a millionaire, and you've got
all the babes you want. Why aren't you living it up in your
palace in Europe?
Simpson: Well, let's just say I ... hate crime.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% One of the criminals stirs from his resting place in the middle of
% the street; he grabs a gun and takes a shot at Homer, who catches the
% bullet between his fingers and tosses it back at him. The bullet
% lodges in the criminal's chest, killing him. "Arrest that guy!" he
% commands, as if that were necessary. As the camera drifts away from
% the scene, the message "Blood Provided By American Red Cross -- Give
% Blood Today!" pops up on the screen.
Homer: Wow. They captured my personality perfectly! Did you see
the way Daddy caught that bullet?
Lisa: That's not really you, Dad, he's just a fictional character
who happens to have the same name.
Homer: [long pause] Don't confuse Daddy, Lisa.
Marge: Homer, it's just a coincidence. Like that guy named Anthony
Michael Hall who stole your car stereo?
Bart: Right ... coincidence.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Later that night, the phone rings while Homer and Marge lay in bed.
Marge: Mmm ... another person wants to congratulate you for having a
famous name.
Homer: [takes phone] Hello? Yes, this is the original Homer
Simpson. Who is this? The Debbie Pinson, who was the
Homecoming Queen at high school? [pause] Yes, I'm still
available.
Marge: [takes phone] No, he's not! [hangs up phone]
Homer: Marge, that was Debbie Pinson! Deb-bie Pin-son!!
Marge: No dating!
Homer: Oohhh!
-- Then what's the point of being famous? "Homer to the Max"
% At the uclear-nay ower-pay plant cafeteria, Carl shows Homer a copy
% of the Springfield Shopper.
Carl: Hey Homer, Homer! Check it out! Bottom of page twelve.
Homer: [reading] "Local Man Has Same Name" ... A TV character has
the same name as Springfield resident Homer Simpson!
Lenny: Hey, you're famous!
Homer: [tosses tie over shoulder] And that's the end of that
chapter.
Lenny: Wow!
Carl: [laughs] Hey, Mr. Simpson, sir, can I get your autograph?
Homer: All right, what's the name?
Carl: Uh, Homer, we've worked together for ten years.
Homer: [blinking, no response]
Carl: It's Carl.
Homer: [scribbles on notepad]
Carl: [reads notepad] You only wrote my name. Um, I wanted yours.
Homer: Take it or leave it ... [reads notepad] Carl.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% At Moe's Bar, a sign hangs outside: "TV Sensation Homer Simpson
% Drinks Here". Inside, Homer and the usual gang gather to catch the
% start of Police Cops". Moe wonders if TV's Homer Simpson was based on
% the "real" man. Homer insists he is, and to emphasize his point tosses
% a scarf over his shoulder, the way the TV character does.
%
% The show starts; Lance Kaufman punches a man in the stomach, sending
% him to the floor. He puts his foot on his chest, when the Chief walks
% up.
Chief: Nice beating, Lance. Especially around the eyes. Eh ...
say, where's your partner, where's Homer Simpson?
Simpson: Coming, chief!
[a man in a police uniform with mismatched gear and a missing
boot stumbles in]
Chief: Now what've you done, Simpson?
Simpson: I was supervising the guns for toys program!
Chief: It's "Toys for Guns"!
Simpson: Now you tell me!
Chief: [sighs] Simpson!!
[the bar patrons at Moe's laugh]
Homer: Hey, what's going on? That guy's not Homer Simpson! He's
fat and stupid!
Lenny: Hey, looks like they changed the character into a bumbling
sidekick.
Homer: No, no, he can't be! I know, maybe he's just acting stupid
to infiltrate a gang of international idiots! Yeah, that's
gotta be it!
Chief: [back on TV] You destroyed that drug shipment?
Simpson: Yes, indeedy!
Chief: That was my insulin!
Simpson: Uh, oh, Spaghetti-O's!
[Moe's bar laughs]
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Homer might be horrified, but the new "Homer Simpson" is a big hit
% with the bar crowd. They ask Homer to do something dumb, like on TV.
Homer: Shut up! I'm not your clown! Don't diminish me! Gentlemen,
I bid you fare ... [tosses his scarf, which gets snagged in
the blades of a ceiling fan] Ooh!
[Homer, hanging from the fan, screaming, is getting a lot of
laughs. Finally, the scarf gives way, and he flies out the
door and into the street in front of Moe's]
Ow! Ohh!
Lenny: Jeez, what an exit!
Carl: Oh, man, what's he gonna do for an encore?
Moe: [looking outside] Whoo ... I don't think he'll be doin' no
encores for a while. Hah, hah! Hah!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% [End of Act One. Time: 6:19]
%
% On a bright Springfield morning, Homer can only stare at the bacon
% and eggs on the plate in front of him.
Homer: I don't understand what happened. Why did they change Homer
Simpson's character from cool to stupid?
Lisa: The first episode was just a pilot, Dad. Producers fiddle
with shows all the time! They change characters, drop
others, and push some into the background. [while Lisa
talks, Mr. Largo and the Capital City Goofball stroll by the
Simpsons' window]
Marge: Your character provides the comic relief! Like, oh ...
Marlon Brando in "Apocalypse Now".
Homer: Wish I hadn't bought a hundred of these.
[Homer pulls the scarf off his neck and tosses it onto a pile
of boxes next to the refrigerator labeled "scarves"]
-- "Homer to the Max"
% At the power plant, Homer sits at his station, trying to do his job.
% His co-workers have gathered in a nearby hallway to watch him.
Lenny: [whispering] Get ready, everybody. He's about to do
something stupid.
Homer: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen, but you seem to
have me confused with a character in a fictional show. Now,
if you'll excuse me, my fondue is just about ... [spills a
fondue pot, which had been resting on the control panel]
D'oh!
[an alarm sounds, and the crowd watching him laughs. On a
map of the U.S., the state of New York blinks and an alarm
buzzes]
Lenny: [laughing] There goes Albany!
Carl: [laughing] Uh, oh, Spaghetti-O's!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Things are even worse for Homer at the Springfield Mall; Homer is
% watched and laughed at by people lining the walkways.
Homer: People are laughing at me, Marge. Let's get outta here!
Forget the baby's medicine!
Marge: But her forehead's on fire!
Homer: Fine. I'll be in the car. Driving home.
Wiggum: Well, if it isn't that stupid cop from TV. [scratches his
ear with his gun barrel] Oh yeah, that got it.
-- One stupid TV cop to another, "Homer to the Max"
% More people come up to stare, including the comic nerd.
Comic Book Guy: Your catchphrase is hysterical. Please say it
clearly for my answering machine tape. [hits
"record"]
Homer: [unenthusiastic] Uh, oh, Spaghetti-O's.
Comic Book Guy: Worst reading ever.
-- Don't worry, no one ever calls you anyway, "Homer to the Max"
% Despite Homer's lackluster reading, his fans continue to crowd him.
Fan #1: How about an autograph?
Fan #2: Picture, mister?
Frink: Can I shine your shoes?
Homer: Come on, people! Enough is enough!
Krusty: [taking Homer aside] Ah, it's never enough. Not for them!
Once they get a taste of you, they want more, and more, and
more! That reminds me, you mind if my nephew kicks you in
the belly?
Homer: Okay ...
[some big red-headed teenager comes up and lays his foot into
Homer's stomach, knocking Homer to the mat]
Krusty: Oh, the flash didn't go off! Got another one in you, Josh?
[Josh nods]
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Later, Homer has resigned himself to the attic, to sit in a rocking
% chair and watch the world from a window. Marge, carrying a tray of
% food, stops at the edge of the attic hatch to watch him.
Homer: The whole town's laughing at me. Even that cat out there!
Bart, kill that cat!
Bart: [shouting, from elsewhere] Okay!
Homer: And that big yellow flower!
Marge: [walking up] Homer, your growing insanity is starting to
worry me. Why don't you talk to the producers of the show?
Maybe they'll make your character suave again.
Homer: Hmm ... I guess I could. But while I'm gone, keep an eye on
that weird-looking kid down there.
Marge: Bart?
Homer: Yeah. [makes air-quotes] "Bart."
-- "Homer to the Max"
% At "By The Numbers Productions", Homer walks into a building painted
% with the characters of "Police Cops". Inside, he sits down on the
% opposite end of a table from thirteen grim-faced studio execs.
Homer: Uh ... so, I just wanna know how come you made your
Homer Simpson character so ...
Producer #1: Stupid? [laughs] Well, I can assure you, it happened
organically.
Homer: It better have!
Producer #1: The thirteen of us began with a singular vision --
"Titanic" meets "Frasier".
Producer #2: But then we found out that ABC had a similar project in
development with Annie Potts and Jeremy Piven.
Homer: Who's Jeremy Piven?
Producer #3: We don't know.
Producer #4: But it scared the hell out of us, so we slapped together
a cop show instead.
Homer: Police Cops.
Producer #5: Uh, no, actually, it was called "Badge Patrol".
Producer #1: But the network idiots didn't want a show about high-
tech badges that shoot laser beams!
Producer #2: So we asked ourselves, "Who's behind the badge?"
Producer #3: Police ...
Producer #4: Cops ...
Producer #5: "Police Cops."
Homer: Yeah, but why does the Homer Simpson character have to
be so stupid?
Producer #1: Oh, he's not stupid. He's a street-smart fish-out-of-
water in a world he never made!
Homer: I'm begging you! I'm a human being! Let me have my
dignity back!
[the Producers nod at Homer; he gets up and walks off,
face-first into a cactus]
D'oh!
-- Leading by example, "Homer to the Max"
% On next week's show, the Homer Simpson character's coat is caught on
% top of a flagpole. "Let me down, Chief," he begs, "I'm beggin' you!
% I'm a human being, let me have my dignity back!"
%
% The ball on top of the flagpole finally breaks, and Homer Simpson
% falls, crotch-first, onto a cactus below, for a big sure-fire chuckle.
% That's the last straw for Homer. He goes to make his case in the
% courts.
Homer: Your honor? I'd like to sue the producers of "Police Cops"
for twenty million dollars for improper use of my name.
Judge: Court finds in favor of "Police Cops". Next case.
Homer: [shuffles papers] Then I'd like to legally change my name!
Judge: What name would you prefer?
Homer: Any of these will be fine.
Judge: Hmm. "Hercules Rockefeller". "Rembrandt Q. Einstein".
"Handsome B. Wonderful". Huh, I'm going to give you the only
name you spelt correctly. From this day forward, your name
shall be ...
[cut to a shot of Lisa, reading from a sheet of paper on the
Simpsons' couch]
Lisa: "Max Power"?
Homer: Dynamic, isn't it?
Bart: I love it, Max.
Marge: You changed your name without consulting me?
Homer: That's the way Max Power is, Marge. Decisive.
Uncompromising! And rude!
Abe: Oh, wait a minute. The family name is my legacy to you. I
got it from my father, and he got it from his father, and he
traded a mule for it! And that mule went on to save Spring
Break!
-- Then thanks for New Orleans last year, mule, "Homer to the Max"
% Marge has some reservations about her husband's new name.
Marge: But this will be so confusing! The mailman won't know what
to do. Did you think of the mailman at all before you did
this?
Homer: Yes, briefly.
Marge: And what about the tattoo on my you-know-what?
Homer: Oh, Honey, they have acids that can burn that off.
Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to
snuggle with "Max Power"!
Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and
feel the "G"s!
Marge: Oh, Lord.
Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I'm taking
charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right
way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
[turning and walks face-first into a giant cactus]
Lisa: We should really put that in the corner.
-- That was pretty fast, though, "Homer to the Max"
% [End of Act Two. Time: 11:46]
%
% Homer sits at his station at the nuclear plant, singing a song about
% his new name.
Homer: [singing] Max Power, he's the man who's name you'd love to
touch! But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your
ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name
can be said by anyone!
Burns: Ah! Max Power! How's every little thing?
Homer: You remembered my name!
Burns: Well, who could forget the name of a magnetic individual like
you? Keep up the good work, Max!
Homer: Mr. Power.
Burns: Yes, of course. Mr. Power.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% At Costington's, Homer shops for something to complete his dashing
% new image.
Homer: So I want the monogram to read "M-A-X P-O-W ... "
Employee: Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials.
Homer: Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as
important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more
important! No, as important.
Employee: [sighing] Very well.
Homer: And if you've got enough room, add some exclamation
points and a pirate flag.
Trent: [walking up] The man knows what he likes.
Homer: Just taking care of business.
Trent: If you don't, who will, huh? Trent Steele.
Homer: Homer Si ... uh, Max Power.
Trent: Oh, hey! Great name!
Homer: Yeah, isn't it? I got it off a hair dryer.
Trent: [laughs] I like a man who can poke fun at himself.
[looks at his watch] Ooh, hey, my one o'clock cancelled.
Eh, you had any lunch?
Homer: Yeah, but I usually have three or four.
Trent: So where to eat? You like Thai?
Homer: Tie good. You like shirt?
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Homer, returning home in a monogrammed blue shirt, drops a few bags
% of food from "Thai Palace" on the table.
Homer: Marge, this is Thai food. From now on, I want it morning,
noon, and night.
Marge: When did you start liking Thai food?
Homer: When Trent Steele bought me some.
Marge: Who's Trent Steele?
Homer: He's Max Power's oldest and dearest friend.
Lisa: What's this wrapped in a banana leaf? [sniffs] Mmmm, smells
like mint!
Homer: Oh, I spit my gum in there.
Lisa: Ew. [drops leaf on table]
Marge: Where'd you meet this Trent Steele? Moe's?
Homer: No way, he's a winner. He has a company that makes
computers, or, a computer that makes companies. Anyway, you
wouldn't understand.
Marge: Well, I guess your new name is really opening doors for you.
Homer: For all of us. Look!
Marge: [reading] You are invited to a garden party this Saturday.
Homer: This is our chance to rub elbows with Springfield's young,
hip power couples, like me and Debbie Pinson!
Marge: Mmmm ...
-- "Homer to the Max"
% A few days later, Homer and Marge drive up to a beautiful home in
% Homer's beat-up pink car. Marge is impressed by the fact the house
% number is spelled out. Homer hands his keys to the valet, who is
% aghast at having to park such an antiquated ride.
%
% Inside the beautiful garden where the party is held, Homer and Marge
% are among some of the most famous and powerful in the world.
Marge: Oh, look, it's Woody Harrelson!
Man: [to Woody, laughing] I can't believe those pants are made
entirely out of hemp.
[Woody's pants look like a bunch of pot leaves sewn together]
Marge: And there's Ed Begley, Jr.!
Begley: And this one solar collector can gather enough energy to run
this colorful pinwheel.
[Begley, holding an immense solar panel above his head,
watches as his pinwheel slowly turns, then stops]
Begley: Wait. Wait, I got it, I got it.
-- What famous people do for fun, "Homer to the Max"
% President Clinton congratulates Begley on his invention. Homer and
% Marge, hanging back, notice the president.
Homer: Marge! President Clinton.
Marge: Oh, my Lord! I feel like Cinderella.
Homer: Me too. Let's sing the Cinderella song.
Marge: Eh, maybe later.
Homer: Uh, oh. Here comes Lorne Michaels. Pretend you don't see
him.
Lorne: Ah, Max Power. Trent said I absolutely must meet you. This
is fabulous ...
Homer: Anyway, Marge, how do you feel about the economy?
[Lorne walks away dejectedly]
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Later, Homer smokes a cigar with some other guests, sharing stories.
Homer: So I said, "If this is the House of Pancakes, how come I
can't eat the walls?
Trent: Oh, you are too much, Max.
Guest: I thought I knew all the players in Springfield. Where have
you been hiding yourself?
Homer: Well, I spent a lot of time on the couch.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Elsewhere, Marge dances with President Clinton.
Clinton: I know you don't think you're good enough for me. But
believe me, you are. Hell, I done it with pigs. [laughs]
Real, no-foolin' pigs!
Marge: Are you sure it's a federal law that I have to dance with
you?
Clinton: You know, I'd change that law if I could, Marge. But, I
can't.
Aide: [whispers in Clintons' ear]
Clinton: Aw, shoot. Quebec's got the bomb! Well, I gotta go, but ...
look, if you're ever near the White House, there's a tool
shed out back. I'm in there most of the day.
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Trent taps his glass with a spoon and steps on a chair.
Trent: Attention, please, attention. Um, I just wanna say how
thrilled I am with this turnout. I'm proud to share my home
with Springfield's best and brightest.
Homer: [eating a raw fish] Hey, no problem.
Trent: We've all been blessed with privilege and success.
Homer: Whoo! Privilege! [twirls fish in the air]
Trent: Uh ... but with privilege comes grave responsibility.
Homer: [spitting out fish] What?
Trent: We all have to give something back to the world that's been
so good to us.
Homer: Give something back? Boo! Get a haircut!
Trent: I'm talking, of course, about our endangered forests. [crowd
members talk with each other in agreement] We have to protect
them, because trees can't protect themselves, except, of
course, the Mexican Fighting Trees.
Homer: Could somebody buy this guy a tree so he'll shut up?
Trent: Can we let the wanton destruction of our nation's forests
continue?
Crowd: No!
Trent: If a tree falls in the forest, will you make a sound?
Crowd: Yes!
Trent: To the protest bus!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Marge and Homer, not really enthusiastic about getting on the bus,
% are pushed on by the crowd of Springfield elite. Trent, not sensing
% their reluctance, tells them they're going on a trip to save a stand of
% redwoods. Homer screams and pulls on an Emergency Exit handle. Marge
% shouts out the window at Ed Begley, Jr.
Marge: Aren't you coming, Ed?
Begley: I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-
cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
[Begley attaches a wired-helmet to his head and quickly
drives off]
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Later, Homer, Marge, and the rest of the party-goers have themselves
% chained to trees.
Homer: Oh, this is the worst party ever!
Marge: I don't know. Remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He
didn't even have a clock.
Homer: Oh, Marge, I thought it would be fun to be on Springfield's
"A" list. But these people are nuts!
Marge: You can't blame them for having a social conscience.
Homer: Sure you can. Bunch of no-good do-gooders.
Begley: Hang in there, Max. Saving the environment is a hard,
grueling job.
Homer: That's what I'm saying! See Marge, this guy gets it.
-- At least somebody there does, "Homer to the Max"
% Chief Wiggum pulls his car up next to the redwoods, alongside a few
% idle bulldozers and their operators.
Wiggum: All right, what's going on here?
Begley: We can't allow you to destroy these beautiful trees, which
have the same rights you have!
Wiggum: Man, I have really had it with you tree-huggers.
Homer: [laughs] Tree-huggers!
Wiggum: Something funny, nature boy?
Homer: No. I just thought it was cute when you called him ...
Wiggum: All right, "Max Power". Eddie! Swab this joker's eyes with
mace.
Marge: Swab? I thought it was a spray?
Wiggum: Okay, she's second!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% Eddie dips a long cotton swab into a jar of Hippie-Strength Mace and
% brings it toward Homer's eyes. Trent tells Homer not to give Wiggum
% the satisfaction of screaming. Homer doesn't even plan on giving
% Wiggum the satisfaction of being swabbed with mace, however. He starts
% running circles around the tree, trying to escape. Eddie chases him.
% Providing backup, Lou joins in the chase, but runs directly behind
% Eddie in the same direction.
Lou: Eh, you better call for back-up, Chief.
Homer: Just leave me alone! Go swab Begley! He likes it!
Eddie: Slow down, punk!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% While running around the tree so many times, the chain around Homer's
% waist has dug into the flesh of the tree so far it falls. As it goes,
% it takes other trees out like dominoes. Yelling "I'm free!", Homer
% tosses his chain into the air, knocking a bald eagle out of the air.
% As trees begin falling, crushing what's left of the entire forest, one
% falls on Wiggum's police car, which was just two days away from
% retirement.
%
% When the dust clears, there's nothing left of the forest except for
% some logs on the ground and Springfield's elite crawling out of the
% ruins. As Trent surveys the damage, Homer sheepishly asks where the
% party bus is headed next. He is met with angry glares.
%
% Sometime later, Homer lies in bed with Marge.
Marge: Well, I'm glad you changed your name back to Homer Simpson.
Homer: Yes, I learned you gotta be yourself. Good night, honey.
Marge: Good night.
[Homer flips off the lamp, but then flips it back on]
Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the courthouse I had
them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty La Rue.
Marge: Chesty La Rue?!
Homer: Just try it for two weeks! If you're not completely
satisfied, you can be Busty St. Claire.
Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue, or Busty St. Claire!
Homer: Fine, Hootie McBoob it is.
Marge: Good night, Homer.
[Marge reaches over and turns off the lamp]
Homer: Sleep tight, Hootie.
Marge: Let go of those!
-- "Homer to the Max"
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:32]
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ah} Alan Hamilton
{al} Andrew Levine
{bc} Ben Collins
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{cb} Curtis Gibby
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{gw} Gary Wilson
{hl} Haynes Lee
{je} Jordan Eisenberg
{jg2} Joe Green
{jj} John Jensen
{mar} Mark Richey
{nd} Nathan DeHoff
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{pm} Paul Melnyk
{tc} Tim Curley
{tdm} Travis D. McLemore, Jr.
{tr} Tom Rinschler
{yd} Yuri Dieujuste
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 1999 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@simpsonsarchive.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
transcript itself is Copyright 1999 John Ogan. This capsule is a By the
Numbers production.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.
Many thanks to Dave Hall and Frederic Briere, who provided me with
alt.tv.simpsons archives when needed. This capsule wouldn't be nearly as
complete without their invaluable help.